Hagerstown Light Department Goes "Green" with North Potomac Street Facility

Site of the new power generation plant.
Photo by lcm1863. Copyright Info

HAGERSTOWN, MD - In a continuing effort to save the environment, the Hagerstown Light Department has switched from purchasing energy from outside entities to generating all power from a single location on North Potomac Street.

Hagerstown officials recently exhumed the body of founder Jonathan Hager, in order to attach magnets and wires.  He was then re-buried in the same location.

"We realized a while back that he was spinning in his grave, with all the crime, unemployment, and all the other problems Hagerstown currently has." said one Hagerstown official. "So then someone got the brilliant idea, why don't we hook up some magnets and wire, and harness that to generate electricity?"

The experiment has been a huge success. Hager has been spinning in his grave so quickly that the power output has greatly exceeded original estimates, providing enough electricity to power the entire city of Hagerstown.

"He must be really upset with how things are being run in this town. But the good news for us is, that just means cheaper electricity for everyone!" said the official.

City officials were originally considering a 5 cent tax increase, but partially due to the savings from this new power generation method, officials were able to reduce that tax increase to only 1.5 cents.

No graves were desecrated while writing this article. The Hagerstown Report is a satire website.