Sunday, August 30, 2015
You won't believe why Hagerstown put an alligator in City Park!
An anonymous source at the City of Hagerstown has revealed to the Hagerstown Report that the monster is, in fact, an alligator.
"We realized the goose population was starting to get out of control, so we brought in an alligator and let nature take its course" according to the anonymous source.
The alligator, named "Ally", is approximately 8 feet long, and a fully grown female. She has been trained to only eat the geese, and so far only one city employee, who is now nicknamed "Stubby", has been injured while working with her.
"She's a really good girl. We got her from the swamps of Florida. During mating season we're going to bring in a male, start raising baby alligators, and selling them to other cities with goose population concerns. We're estimating it will bring in even more money than the speed camera program!"
Hagerstown residents should be aware that the alligator is perfectly safe around visitors to the park. More people have been assaulted in Hagerstown this year than the alligator has eaten.
No city employees were dismembered while writing this article. The Hagerstown Report is a satire web site.