Hagerstown KKK "MLK Day Rally" Attendance Plummets After "Free Sheetz" Typo Discovered

Not a real photo.

HAGERSTOWN, MD - A local KKK leader is "extremely disappointed" that the planned rally in Hagerstown on Martin Luther King day will have to be cancelled due to lack of interest, following the discovery of a typo in the advertising material.

"Someone accidentally listed the event as 'Free Sheetz' instead of 'Free Sheets'." stated an anonymous spokesperson for the event. "Needless to say, when we notified attendees that they would be receiving a free Klan bed sheet, attendance dropped to two people."

The local grand dragon, who refers to himself only as "Billy Bob", spoke with The Hagerstown Report while gently petting his My Little Pony doll.

"We received a lot of hate messages after people found out they weren't getting free food from Sheetz." stated Billy Bob. "Some of the messages were very hurtful, and I'm afraid I need to cut this interview short so I can go find my safe space."

Billy Bob then attached a safety pin to his KKK outfit, and proceeded to disappear into a coat closet while muttering to himself something about "...but he promised he would make America great again!"

A spokesperson for the local Klan stated that the planned rally will most likely be canceled, as a parade of "two people wearing bed sheets" doesn't send the message of strength they want to send.

Those who were disappointed by the cancellation of the rally are encouraged to visit their local Sheetz and make a purchase from their secret menu.

No Klan leaders poked themselves with safety pins while writing this article. The Hagerstown Report is satire. The KKK is a bunch of assholes.