City Park Piranha Project on Schedule

Signs to be posted in City Park

HAGERSTOWN, MD - As previously reported, the project to stock City Park with piranhas is going according to plan, according to city representatives. The piranhas will be used to control the park's geese population, as well as provide a more exotic tourist attraction.

So far, approximately half of the carp have been replaced with the carnivorous fish, which have been specially trained to only eat geese.

"We will be the first park in the country to stock our park's lake with piranhas!" stated a city council member, "Just think of the tourism draw this will create!"

While the piranhas have been trained to only eat geese, small children should not splash or cry if they fall in the lake, or they may be mistaken for a goose.

The current target completion date is February 10, 2017, when approximately 75% of the lake will be piranhas. It is believed that the remaining carp will eventually be removed by "natural forces".

Signs will be posted next week telling visitors that the piranhas are friendly, but warning not to splash or make noise if you should fall in.

The carp that have been replaced during dredging are being taken to Washington County landfill, where they will be disposed of humanely.

Residents are encouraged to visit City Park and take pictures of the piranhas, but please, no swimming.

Piranhas would really take a bite out of our geese population problems. The Hagerstown Report is satire.