"These monuments honor rebels and traitors. The civil war was over 150 years ago, it's time that those supporting the confederacy move on." stated a NPS spokesperson, "Thanks to the generous donation of the President's salary, we have the funding to complete this important work."
The removal of the monuments is part of the NPS new "friendlier, more inclusive" approach to remodeling its parks in an effort to get families off their computers and smart phones, and back into open spaces. "We really feel that this extends an olive branch to the community that we're all one nation now, and we can move on from the past."
When asked about the usage of his salary to fund the removal of confederate monuments, the President stated "We will crush the rebellion with one swift stroke, and make America great again!"
The President then denied that his quote was stolen from a science fiction movie, and refused further comment.
Local residents in Sharpsburg, MD applauded the move. "Finally we can rewrite the history books and tell everyone that the civil war was a minor incursion, and that the United States swiftly crushed the rebellion." stated local resident Wilhuff Tarkin.
Since 1775, over 600,000 United States military members have died in combat. This Memorial Day, please remember them. The Hagerstown Report is satire.
Fake news why do you the media stop telling all these lies if you think Donald Trump gave money for this you bumped your damn head so if you read this article don't believe it you don't have to take statues down to make America great again you need to take all these poor bastards and bums to get off welfare and get a goddamn job
ReplyDeleteI FIND IT GROSSLY UNFAIR TO REMOVE THE CONFEDERATE MONUMENTS, THEY ARE PART OF OUR HISTORY. WE SHOULD NOT HAVE TO REWRITE OUR HISTORY.
ReplyDelete"UNKNOWN", why such an aloof Moniker? With such a commitment, I'd feel Proud?
ReplyDeleteSo ridiculous yes they are part of history. There are many types of Confederate flags too by the way. People may think they can get rid of one but there are many more that exist. You can get rid of symbols but you cant get rid of history.
ReplyDeleteIf NPS removes the reason there were battlefields in the first place, why would there even be a battlefield to see? The Union didn't fight with itself to free slavery and keep the nation together. You can't change history- it's already happened. To rewrite history dishonors all who lived through it, esp those who fought so hard to keep a young nation together and united. It's a slap in the face to the Union.
ReplyDeleteNo one read the last line I see....
ReplyDeleteI know, so funny!
DeleteYou can't even say "All of Sharpsburg residents", can you?
ReplyDelete