Creepy Clowns Try to Lure Local Drug Dealers Into Storm Drains

HAGERSTOWN, MD - Possibly inspired by the release of a recent horror film, there have been several reports of rather creepy clowns attempting to lure local drug dealers into storm drains by offering free narcotics.

"We're all high as hell down here Jimmy! And when you come down here, you'll be high too!" was uttered by one of the clowns according to witnesses.

The clowns are working their way into city storm drains, then tying red balloons to the grates to get others' attention.

Once a drug dealer is seen examining the balloon, the clown then attempts to convince the dealer to join him in the storm drain, making promises of free heroin or other drugs.

"I almost fell for it!" said one local dealer, "but luckily I remembered what happened last time a creepy clown offered me free drugs out of a van, and hell that was just a couple months ago, and my backside is still sore!"

Hagerstown residents are encouraged not to enter any storm drains, even without clowns they can be extremely dangerous.

If shoe size is related to the size of other parts of the body, why aren't more clowns porn stars? The Hagerstown Report is satire.