Late Monday night an unidentified object was seen crash-landing into the recently dredged city park lake. While no official comment could be obtained, sources have revealed anonymously that the occupants of the spacecraft escaped unharmed, and were suspected to be hiding somewhere in Washington County.
"We believe they mistook the Pod for wreckage, and were attempting a rescue mission," stated one official on the condition of anonymity, "unfortunately the craft collided with a tree and crashed into the lake."
Officials have denied any rumors that the Pod is in fact an alien spacecraft, and have since removed the crashed UFO to a secure location in an empty building outside Hagerstown airport. A local private contractor has been hired to study the craft and reverse-engineer it.
In the meantime, residents should be aware that several extra-terrestrial life forms may be on the loose. It is suspected that these life forms may be able to assume the form of humans, so be on the lookout for residents acting unusual, such as staring blankly into space or forgetting to put on pants - as these may be signs of an alien impostor.
Fortunately, Ally the alligator was already in her winter atrium, so she was not harmed by the UFO crash.
No residents received anal probes from extra-terrestrials while writing this article, though it's quite possible one of them forgot her pants. The Hagerstown Report is satire.
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