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Thursday, October 13, 2016

Halloween Canceled Due to National Clown Epidemic

Washington, D.C. - Today President Obama announced that Halloween is canceled this year due to the large number of clown sightings across the country.

"I'm signing an executive order which prohibits trick or treat, costume parties, or the like." stated the President.

Citing public safety, the President signed today an unprecedented executive order affecting the celebration of a day which isn't even recognized as a Federal holiday.

There is, however, a silver lining. While Halloween may be canceled, United States residents can still get in their fill of horror and screams on November 8. You may even get to see a few clowns.

Trick, but the comments will be treats! The Hagerstown Report is satire.

11 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. It isnt true.
      It says that its satire at the end.

      Delete
    2. It isnt true.
      It says that its satire at the end.

      Delete
  2. I believe that Halloween is a day that celebrates the devil anyway so I truly wished it was true lol...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Who ever thinks Halloween needs to band didn't have a very good childhood... really ya'll were deprived as a child and I feel sorry for you...

      Delete
  3. I wished it was true cause I believe that Halloween is a day that celebrates the Birthday of the devil people lol...

    ReplyDelete
  4. Well, if I see a clown, I'll use the Trump 2nd admendment!! Then I'll go Madea on them!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Stop the bleeding of innocent children.

    ReplyDelete
  6. It is most definitely not the devil's birthday lmfao I'm Wiccan and that is a major holiday for us

    ReplyDelete