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Monday, February 13, 2017

Failed Science Experiment Creates Hagerstown Blackout



HAGERSTOWN, MD - Local mad scientist Brittany Wedd accidentally triggered a blackout while attempting to perform gene splicing in an attempt to create fake dinosaurs.

Wedd was previously caught in her part of the conspiracy to create fake dinosaur bones in an attempt to boost Jurassic Park movie sales.

Insider sources have revealed that this was part of the creation of the upcoming STEAM exhibit at the Discovery Station, and that Wedd is attempting to create actual fake dinosaurs to be featured in the exhibit.

While it is believed that Wedd's experiment was unsuccessful, local officials have been informed that a "disturbingly large, hatched egg" was discovered in the Antietam Creek a few miles away.

Residents should be on the lookout for an upright, walking lizard, approximately ten stories tall. The last known sighting was in the Antietam Creek near the Sun's Stadium.

No museum directors created apocalyptic creatures while writing this article, at least we hope not. The Hagerstown Report is satire.

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