"I didn't even have to ask them!" stated President-Elect Donald Trump.
Both countries have suddenly found themselves with a shocking amount of illegal immigrants from the United States - mostly US residents looking to escape the country before Trump takes office.
"It was so bad, our immigration website crashed last night" stated a Canadian official, "I mean yea our website is powered by green energy, and we had to bring in a second exercise bike to power the server aye! But it's working again now!"
Some border jumpers were quite surprised upon reaching the country of their destination. "What do you mean you need n ID to vote in Canada and Mexico? Don't these people know it's clearly racist!"
Furthermore, must to their surprise, Mexico has a strict anti-illegal immigration law, and violators could be faced with jail time.
"I really didn't realize that these other countries were more strict than us on this stuff!" claimed one border jumper as he was being detained by Mexican authorities.
Mexican drug cartels have already started creating their own border patrol groups, detaining any United States citizens who attempt to enter the country illegally.
Pink Floyd would be proud. The Hagerstown Report is satire.
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