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| The parade route on Nov. 31 |
The parade, which will last from 6 PM to 9 PM, begins at the Islamic Society of Western Maryland, and concludes at the Motor Vehicle Administration, where all refugees will receive a welcome package.
"We're extremely excited to host our peaceful brothers and sisters from Syria, and hope that they will be welcomed into the community," stated one council member.
As part of the welcome package, each Syrian will receive the following:
- A driver's license
- A voter registration card
- Food stamps for one year
- Free cell phone through Obamaphone program
- Free health care through Obamacare program
- A work permit with a second social security number, so that refugees can draw government benefits and take local jobs at the same time
- A "clock making kit" complete with suitcase, electronic clock, and a small amount of Uranium.
Local employers will be given tax incentives to lay off current local workers and replace them with refugees for a one year period.
Residents interested in attending the parade should arrive at least two hours ahead of time. No backpacks or coolers please.
No jihadists infiltrated the United States as refugees while writing this article, at least that's what the President told us. The Hagerstown Report is a satire site.
There's no November 31st.
ReplyDeleteLmao
DeleteThere is to a 'November 31--but it is hidden on all calendars due to Global Warming. But not to worry, our intrepid President is striking fear in all of the ISIS warriors and his GW solutions will indeed reveal the real November 31 when the GW conference is over with...you'll see!
ReplyDeleteIf he can make the sea levels rise and fall, what is a little thing to him called the sun? Get rid of that thing and we have no C02 whatsoever! That'll fix 'em!