City Council Expands Borders, Raises Taxes

Map of the expanded City of Hagerstown

HAGERSTOWN, MD - In a last minute effort to increase income in 2016, coupled with the sudden realization by the City Council that there are areas with Hagerstown mailing addresses, but do not fall under city limits, the mayor and council voted unanimously to expand the city limits to most of Washington County.

"We realized there's great potential for additional tax revenue, so we had to act quickly in order to get in before the end of the fiscal year. Now we can retroactively tax a larger population for 2015," stated a council member.

The expanded area is estimated to double the city's income for 2016 tax returns, while allowing it to defer all maintenance to Washington County until officially ratified by the Maryland State Legislature in 2018.

"For two years we're going to have double the tax revenue, with no additional maintenance costs! It's amazing!"

Hagerstown plans include additional speed cameras in county area schools, as well as using the additional tax income to build more walking trails.

"Nobody wants to walk in downtown Hagerstown for safety reasons, so now we can build walking trails outside the city where crime is lower. It's a win win!"

Due to a tax loophole, residents will have to pay retroactively for all of 2015 when filing their income taxes this spring.

No tax accountants suffered heart attacks while writing this article. The Hagerstown Report is a satire site.