HAGERSTOWN, MD - The Hagerstown mayor and city council were re-elected today by default, as no residents showed up to vote.
"I've never seen anything like it," said one election judge, "we've had problems with voter turnout in the past, but surely we expected at least one person to show up."
Election judges were baffled as to how to proceed, as there are no laws covering what to do in the case of no votes.
"We debated for a while, and figured, well, might as well just let the incumbents stay for another term. If people had a problem with it, they would have come out and voted."
If only one person would have showed up for the election, that person would have single-handed determined the future of Hagerstown politics for the next term.
No election judges suffered nervous breakdowns while writing this article. The Hagerstown elections aren't actually until 2016, but every vote counts, so get out and vote! The Hagerstown Report is a satire site.
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