WashCo Commissioners Announce Reality TV Crime/Drama Series

HAGERSTOWN, MD - In light of all the recent drama and misconduct surrounding the Washington County Government, the County Commissioners have announced they have struck a deal with a major cable network to produce a reality TV series called "Tales from the County". The series, airing this fall, will follow the daily struggles, drama, and ethical challenges of the County Commissioners and the county employees.

"This is the next Jerry Springer Show!" said a county representative who has been watching the drama unfold around her. "The cable network is paying us millions of dollars to produce this show - it's going to do amazing things for our county budget."

Episodes have already begun filming, and focus on not just the drama which unfolds at County Commissioner meetings, but their personal lives as well. The first episode, titled "What happens in Korea..." will look at some of the past county commissioners and their ethical troubles, as well as  footage of when the Washington County Sheriff's Office visited a county commissioner's home for a domestic dispute.

The network producer spoke to The Hagerstown Report a bit more about the show's concept. "If you take Parks and Recreation, combine it with COPS, and add in a sprinkle of Saturday Night Live, you'll understand what an amazing circus of a county government we have here."

As filming allows, side stories including the Board of Education and municipal governments will also be filmed. Some of the footage will use previously recorded meetings and events, such as Karen Harshman voting to remove herself from the Board of Education or her attorney's epic "Dr. Phil" defense.

So how much income will this produce for the county? The total production cost of Season One is approximately five million dollars. After permit fees, expenses, contributions to the County Commissioner Common Legal Defense Fund, and a generous kickback of $20,000 to each County Commissioner who owns a distillery, the Washington County general fund will receive approximately $3.50, which is just enough money to summon the Chesapeake Bay Monster "Chessy" from the Potomac River for the full length feature film "Godzilla vs. Chessy". This disaster film will be filmed on location at some of Hagerstown's crumbling buildings, and very little special effects will be needed to capture the right "mood" of the film.

No mythical creatures were summoned while writing this article. The Hagerstown Report is satire.