"We will not sit idly by while Pennsylvania holds hostage a Hagerstown, MD resident who was only seeking to liberate Pennsylvania residents from excessive taxation. Not only will we rescue this fine upstanding Hagerstown resident, but we'll begin a liberation campaign to free Pennsylvania from this heinous tax upon processed meat products." stated the Governor.
Since the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania has already fortified its southern border near Lancaster PA, Maryland National Guard troops will enter Pennsylvania from the east through Delaware and west through Washington County.
Meanwhile, Lancaster residents have started their own protest in response to the arrests. In what has become known as the "Susquehanna Sausage Party", Lancaster residents are travelling to the nearby Susquehanna river to throw stolen salami, pepperoni, sausage, and other meat products into the river as an act of protesting the "salami tax". Oakwood, MD residents have been seen with fishing nets at the state line waiting for the waterlogged meat to reach Maryland, and there are now rumors of a "barbecue vigil" in which the processed meat products will be consumed while everyone prays for a swift resolution to the conflict.
No innocent fish were harmed by Pennsylvania sausage parties while writing this article. The Hagerstown Report is satire.
I hope they don't throw away the Gaba Goole
ReplyDeleteI thought he was trying to recapture Maryland refugees who fled to York County during the last administration
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