First, the overall shape of the logo is meant to have multiple meanings. Not only does the logo represent a Crusader cross, but it also resembles the letter "F". Designers were quick to point out, this "F" does not actually stand for Frederick, but actually is intended to represent pressing the letter F to pay respects to those who fell during the holy war, and those who will fall in the holy wars to come.
Each part of the logo represents an important aspect of Frederick.
To the left, a red duck head. This duck head symbolizes the ducks in Baker Park, and the upcoming war against them to control their population (much like Hagerstown has continued to struggle with overpopulation of geese in City Park).
To the bottom, a green sickle, representing the climate change crisis, and how all of Frederick needs to reap what they sow, helping offset climate change by paying an upcoming carbon tax. This carbon tax will not actually go towards any efforts to fix the climate change crisis, but will be used to provide much needed pay raises to the City Council.
To the top, a blue spike, symbolizing the blue skies of Frederick's upcoming war to re-take the Holy Land.
In the center, a yellow square.Yellow is the color of sunshine and hope, and with Frederick at the center of the next Holy War, it shall be a shining symbol of the war to expand Israel's borders.
Finally, to the right, an arrow pointing to the East. This arrow signifies how Frederick shall lead the charge into the middle-east, and liberate its oil reserves.
Frederick's launching of the next Crusade is currently scheduled for July 4, 2020. President Trump will be in attendance as a caravan of portable missile launchers, tanks, planes, and even an aircraft carrier named the U.S.S. Ivanka on a flatbed truck will be paraded down I-270 to Washington DC. Please note that the Crusade may potentially be delayed due to traffic jams.
No terrible video game design decisions were made while writing this article. The Hagerstown Report is satire.
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