Possible East-Coast Blizzard This Week, Warming Period After

HAGERSTOWN, MD - The National Weather Service has issued a warning that the East Coast could experience significant snowfall on Wednesday night through Thursday, followed by a much warmer several days.

Residents of the Hagerstown area are encouraged to stock up on bread, milk, eggs, toilet paper, and sunscreen.

Residents may also experience discomfort with unusually high temperatures Friday and Saturday.

Temperatures will return to 70 degrees on Sunday.

Seriously, will we even be around for Saturday? The Hagerstown Report is satire.