Decades old Mason-Dixon Line Dispute Re-Ignited Between MD and PA

HAGERSTOWN, MD - Today in Hagerstown, the counties of Washington, Frederick, Carroll, and Baltimore signed a declaration of war against Franklin, Adams, York, and Lancaster counties, PA.

"Recent review of historical documents show that Maryland in fact possesses an equatorial line north of Philadelphia, passing through the counties mentioned in our declaration." stated a representative of the Maryland counties.

Representatives from both states attempted to resolve the situation peacefully. However, negotiations broke down when delegates from Hagerstown began verbally assaulting delegates from Lancaster, calling them "gullible hicks who believe everything they read on the internet."

Lancaster delegates quickly retorted "The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, this insult is coming from the same people who think there's an alligator in their own city park!"

Lancaster and York delegates then filed a joint resolution countering the Maryland land claim, stating that their own official documents show the line to be at the northernmost edge of the Chesapeake Bay.

Pennsylvania residents in the area of conflict are recommended to apply for conceal carry permits as soon as possible, and keep themselves armed at all times, in case Maryland would invade Pennsylvania.

Maryland residents in the area of conflict, since Maryland requires you to be in bed with an elected official to conceal carry, are recommended to be sure to have proper identification with them at all times, so that next of kin can be notified if Pennsylvania would invade Maryland.

Mason and Dixon did not roll over in their graves while writing this article. The Hagerstown Report is Satire