Hagerstown Residents Rejoice as House Sits on Congress Floor in Protest

HAGERSTOWN, MD - Local residents reacted with glee as they learned about the House Democrat protest currently occurring in the Capitol Building.

"You mean they're just sitting there not doing anything? That's the best news I heard all day!" stated one excited Hagerstown resident.

Democrat protesters threw a temper tantrum and sat down in the middle of the House floor screaming like a spoiled child who was just told by a parent they couldn't have a piece of candy.

"I sure hope the Republicans sit down and join them, then we won't have to worry about any new laws being passed and screwing up the country further." another resident stated. "Can we have a bipartisan protest and congress never pass another law again? That would be the best thing to ever happen to this country!"

Other residents weren't quite so enthusiastic.

"I mean, is this really any different from what they normally do every day? At least when they're sitting in the middle of the floor we know they're not getting their pockets stuffed with cash by corporate sponsors." said a disgruntled resident.

The Senate is currently taking up a collection for their dysfunctional brethren, so that babysitters can come in and provide the protesting representatives a pillow and blanket.

"Those representatives have a hard time living off the taxpayer dime and working only 133 days a year - almost half of what most blue collar Americans work. It's clear to me these representatives, most of whom come from wealthy families and aren't used to working anyway, are over worked and need their safe space." stated Gersh Kuntzman, who then immediately claimed he was still suffering flashbacks from firing an AR-15 and went into a strange meditative state.

Is there a GoFundMe for Gersh Kuntzman's PTSD treatment yet? The Hagerstown Report is satire.