Escaped Animal Terrorizes Downtown Hagerstown

Eye witness photo

HAGERSTOWN, MD - In a science experiment gone wrong mirroring a Jurassic Park movie, an apparent dinosaur escaped from the Discovery Station and terrorized downtown.

The dinosaur, a small Tyrannosaurus Rex, was originally brought to life through cloning and splicing of DNA from Ally, the alligator in Hagerstown City Park.

Initial casualty reports are unavailable, and city officials refused to comment.

Brittany Wedd, Director of Operations, is currently suspected of being the scientist responsible for bringing the creature to life. Officials are investigating, and the creature remains at large.

Residents are encouraged to wear small bells and carry pepper spray as a deterrent should they encounter the creature. Residents should also be aware of how to recognize Tyrannosaurus scat, to avoid its current nesting grounds. Tyrannosaurus scat often contains small bells, and can faintly smell of pepper.

Eye witness photo

No museum directors' arms were devoured by extinct creatures while writing this article. The Hagerstown Report is a satire site.