John Delaney Declared Winner of Republican CD-6 Debate

Artist's recreation of the Republican CD-6 debate

Gaithersburg, MD - While each congressional candidate declared themselves the winner of the Republican CD-6 debate, after tallying all votes, John Delaney, the Democrat incumbent, was declared the winner.

With biased panelist questions, "deer-in-headlights" looks from various candidates, and Robin Ficker randomly pointing at the ceiling, the groans and moans of voters could be heard from all over Western Maryland last night.

"This reminds me of a 3-ring circus," stated one viewer, "but at least a circus is entertaining!"

All seven Western Maryland voters who watched the live stream expressed great disappointment at the fact that most of the candidates are from Montgomery County, which until recently, wasn't even part of the same congressional district.

"The jigsaw puzzle that is the sixth congressional district sure is producing some real nutcases. Western Maryland is a rural community, and we've got a bunch of city slickers from the suburbs of DC trying to claim they understand the struggles of our community. THANKS O'MALLEY!" another resident stated.

The CD-6 debate left most voters wondering, "Does the Republican party even stand a chance against Delaney in 2016?"

No elephants dropped the soap while writing this article. The Hagerstown Report is a satire site.