Hagerstown Ball Park Sold to Waynesboro, PA

Original for-sale ad

HAGERSTOWN, MD - After very few attempts to further negotiations with the Suns, the Hagerstown city council voted tonight to proceed with the sale of Municipal Stadium to Waynesboro, PA.

The "final measure" sale guarantees that the Suns will no longer be able to play in Hagerstown after the conclusion of the 2018 season.

"Waynesboro is excited to welcome Municipal Stadium to our community. We are already in the process of clearing the ground necessary to establish our new stadium." stated a representative from Waynesboro.

Massive crawler machines will be used to transport the stadium, piece by piece, across back roads between Hagerstown and Waynesboro. Construction firms hired for the job have stated that the move of the stadium will be "nothing short of a miracle" and a "true marvel of modern engineering."

Hagerstown residents had mixed reactions to the news of the sale.

"Finally I can get some peace and quiet!" stated one resident who lives close to the stadium, "I won't have to hear their fireworks or loudspeaker anymore!"

Another resident was not as optimistic, "The stadium employs a significant amount of people on a season basis, and also provides residual economic stimulus for surrounding businesses. This will be a deep blow to an already struggling city, and will ultimately result in more local businesses closing."

The Hagerstown Suns were not available for immediate comment.

No engineers guffawed at plans to relocate a ball park while writing this article. The Hagerstown Report is a satire site.