ADL Removes Swastika from Hate Symbol List in Response to Biden Speech

Screenshot of the ADL announcement

In response to the increasing popularity of President Biden, as well as per his suggestion to the ADL, certain hate symbols such as the swastika have been removed from the ADL Hate Symbol database. Insiders at the White House have indicated this is in support of future Biden speeches which plan to use similar imagery, and the ADL does not want them confused with actual hate symbols.

"Swastikas and other symbols are still hate symbols, but we want to ensure that there is no chance for the dangerous MAGA Republicans to use the ADL hate symbol database to further compare Biden to Hitler" stated a representative from the ADL.

The changes to the ADL hate symbol database will take place shortly before midterm elections, where President Biden plans to give a powerful speech on why MAGA Republicans are dangerous to society, and outline his plan to place them in detention camps. This speech will coincide with the release of Biden's new book "My Struggle", which outlines his battles with "Corn Pop" as a youth, and goes on to further describe MAGA Republicans as greedy and the cause of all of the United States' problems. 

In unrelated news, the White House announced confusion when receiving a call from France stating that they immediately surrender to the United States. The United States is not currently at war with France, only its own people.

Last time we posted a satire article about the ADL they tried to fact check us into oblivion. It's possible this might be the last time we ever get to post, so if you're reading this, thanks for all the fish. The Hagerstown Report is satire. This post is satire. Our country appears to currently be satire. Not sure if we should laugh or cry.