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Wednesday, December 20, 2017

Frederick School Board Unanimously Votes to Ban Themselves from School Property

FREDERICK, MD - In light of recent news that Aje Hill, a young man who founded a nonprofit aimed at keeping kids out of trouble, found himself banned from FCPS property due to his minor criminal record, the Frederick School Board voted unanimously to ban themselves from school property due to their own minor criminal records.

"Seeing as one of the charges against Mr. Hill was running a stop sign in Atlanta, GA, we had to hold ourselves to the same strict standard." stated one of the school board members.

All of the school board members themselves have a terrible history of parking and speeding tickets, resulting in their unanimous vote that they are unfit to be on FCPS property.

Shortly after conducting the vote, the school board members were escorted off the property by security, and given a no trespass order by FCPS Security Director Scott Blundell.

"Doesn't matter, I wasn't planning on being here much longer anyway." stated Ken Kerr, who is currently using his Frederick school board office as a stepping stone for Maryland State Delegate. Kerr ran on the slogan "Education Matters", is now running under the slogan "Using Education as a Stepping Stone Matters".

It is currently unknown where future school board meetings will be held, since the board members are now banned from FCPS property.

FCPS is still considering renaming to Fredrick County Public Schools. The Hagerstown Report is satire.

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