Gilbertsville, population 4,000, is a small community in southeastern PA, and is truly the definition of a small town.
"We received an offer from the Amish community to bring baseball to help increase tourist revenue. It turns out that leading a public life of simplicity, while secretly watching TV and playing PlayStation when you get home from the farmer's market seems to attract gullible Americans willing to pay top dollar for hand-crafted stuff that's way overpriced."
As part of the move, the Suns will become the Gilbertsville Zerns, and play in a small bleacher-only stadium being constructed at the Zerns Farmers Market.
Gilbertsville residents are absolutely thrilled that baseball will be coming to their small town. "Martha and I can't wait to see all the horse and buggies parked by the stadium at game time! It's really going to bring the community together!"
Fortunately for Hagerstown residents, with the move to Gilbertsville, plans to fill the stadium with water and add a cruise ship can proceed on schedule.
Many thanks to People of Lancaster for sharing the information about Zerns Farmers Market on their Facebook page.
The similarities to Zerns logo and the Suns logo are scary. The Hagerstown Report is satire.
THERES NO AMISH IN GILBERTSVILLE!!! WE ARE NOWHERE NEAR LANCASTER, THERE ARE NO HORSE DRAWN CARTS!! WHO IS THE FACT CHECKER FOR THIS ARTICLE?
ReplyDeleteHi Jennifer! Our articles are furiously checked by an army of flying monkeys who were previously employed by a witch in some far off place, like AZ or something. I assure you, the facts are 110% accurate. -Ken, Editor
DeleteWhere is this information testable, repeatable and whom are the reliable sources? This seems very falsified.
ReplyDeleteHi Sosalpha! This has been confirmed by my second cousin Jethro's step-brother's sister's wife's mother's former roommate who has an inside source in the City government. -Ken, Editor
Delete