The program was declared a complete bust when the Baker Park Bear "Barry", escaped and went to visit a children's' playground. However, the Frederick County Council states the bear is being retired due to other concerns.
"The bear refused to wear his COVID mask" stated County Council member Kai Hagen, "I tried publicly shaming the bear into wearing his mask, but it didn't make any difference. For that reason we must retire the bear from service."
The bear program was thought up by several Frederick County Council members who prioritize the environment above all other things, including the safety and wellbeing of the county's residents. The program was even endorsed by Sheriff Chuck Jenkins, who believed the bear's presence could deter crime.
"We really hoped the bear would deter crime, or at the very least deter that profanity sign guy from coming downtown, or that guy we created a secret politically-motivated dossier on." said a representative from the sheriff's office.
Any residents whose property was damaged by the bear are encouraged to contact the City of Frederick for reimbursement of repair expenses.
Barry the bear's career isn't quite over yet, though. He's going to become the new mascot for the Frederick Keys. Look for more on this soon!
No bears got their heads stuck in jars of honey while writing this article. The Hagerstown Report is satire. Also, Hi Chuck.
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