The new monument will be similar to the "Pod" in Hagerstown City Park, in that it will be an abstract work of art meant to represent whatever the viewer sees using their imagination, but more importantly, an ever-lasting symbol of peace in our great, liberal nation inclusive of people from all walks of life.
As you can see from the above rendering of the proposed monument, this monument will be much larger than the original slave block marker. A plaque (not pictured) will also be featured to explain the concept behind the monument, and how important it is to rewrite history by removing monuments we feel someone might be offended by.
"Even if no-one has complained, even if it's of historical significance, we must remove elements from our society which may make others uncomfortable and turn our country into a nationwide safe space, including the complete repeal of the second amendment." stated the artist while being protected by several armed guards.
Unveiling of the new monument will take place on July 4, 2020. Due to social distancing requirements, residents may not attend the ceremony unless attending as part of a protest against racial injustice, since COVID-19 does not infect attendees of such protests, and only infects protests to reopen the state.
"The town council absolutely denies any remarks that the peace monument is "phallic" in nature, and anyone claiming such is clearly a troublemaker just trying to deny the town of this important peace monument." stated one of the council members.
In lieu of attending the donating to the construction of this new monument, the Sharpsburg town council urges all residents to contribute to the Joe Biden for President 2020 campaign fund.
No phallic shaped monuments have been added to Sharpsburg or the battlefield. Yet. The Hagerstown Report is satire.
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