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Sunday, August 7, 2016

Water-Powered Mars Rocket Launch from Hagerstown Sept. 10, Local Resident Prepares for Trip

HAGERSTOWN, MD - Local resident Brittany Wedd, Director of Operations at the Discovery Station, is currently preparing for her seven month trip to the big red planet, Mars.

Wedd has designed her own rocket and launch pad using leftover parts from the old Fairchild aircraft manufacturing plant, as well as a little SCIENCE!

In order to prepare for the trip, Wedd must spend several hours each week in a pressure chamber. This will allow her body to adjust to the atmosphere on Mars and breathe without a space suit. During the trip, Wedd's spacecraft will slowly reduce the atmospheric pressure and oxygen mix to match Mars levels.

Due to the size of the spacecraft, Wedd will have to embark upon this journey by herself in a pressurized chamber. Wedd's mission will last a total of 2 years, between travel time to and from Mars, and exploring the surface. While on the surface of Mars, Wedd will attempt repairs on one of the Mars rovers.

While Wedd trains physically and mentally for her journey, construction planning is underway on South Prospect street to build the water launch system.

"We've never really considered the Hagerstown area viable for spacecraft launches, but our engineers assure us it's a perfectly safe design." stated an official with NASA.

The spacecraft itself will use a magnetic flux capacitor water launch system, eliminating much of the fuel needs for the journey. Wedd developed the propulsion system herself, after building a prototype out of Legos.

The full scale launch system will be installed on South Prospect street, taking up a large section of Baltimore Street. The launch system itself resembles a large water slide. Launch is currently scheduled for Saturday, September 10th between 11 am and 3 pm.

Residents interested in attending the launch can purchase tickets online here.



No museum directors were launched into space while writing this article, but you really should read her story about her struggles with Lyme Disease. The Hagerstown Report is Satire.