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Monday, June 20, 2016

Hagerstown Alligator Escapes on First Day Back at City Park

UPDATE: The Alligator has been safely returned to City Park.

HAGERSTOWN, MD - Ally the Alligator, who was purchased by the City of Hagerstown and placed in City Park to control the geese population, escaped on her first day back in the park this year.

The town council decided to wait for the first day of summer to release Ally back into City Park, because they needed to make sure the water was warm enough for her.

"She's been cooped up in a heated shack for most of the winter, and I guess she needed to stretch her legs." stated one city official.

Residents are once again reminded that should they encounter the alligator, under no circumstances should you make any honking noise, or she may mistake you for a goose. Ally is trained to only eat geese.

Ally was last seen by the McDonalds at Long Meadow. If you see Ally, please do not approach her, but contact the town hall so that they may pick her up.

Additionally, should you see Ally, please keep your pets inside.

Ally the Alligator is the gift that just keeps on giving, eventually we'll have a sports team "The Hagerstown Gators".  The Hagerstown Report is satire.

44 comments:

  1. I didn't think this was our local Hagerstown...but when I read the actual article I saw that it is!
    I love the part where it says "If you see her don't make any honking noises because she's trained to eat geese"!!!!

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    1. That is in NC.. Sneads ferry

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    2. That is in NC.. Sneads ferry

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    3. I'm positive that is Sneads ferry nc. Just because it say md doesn't mean it is. We should all know the internet is not always right.

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    4. Read the end of the article .. .. ..
      Ally the Alligator is the gift that just keeps on giving, eventually we'll have a sports team "The Hagerstown Gators". The Hagerstown Report is satire.

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    5. Its satire for a reason guys... Doesnt matter where the pic is from beecause again, its SATIRE.

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    6. sat·ire
      ˈsaˌtī(ə)r/
      noun
      the use of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people's stupidity or vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics and other topical issues.
      synonyms: mockery, ridicule, derision, scorn, caricature; More

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  2. I didn't think this was our local Hagerstown...but when I read the actual article I saw that it is!
    I love the part where it says "If you see her don't make any honking noises because she's trained to eat geese"!!!!

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    1. It says hagerstown md, md means maryland not north carolina

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    2. It says hagerstown md, md means maryland not north carolina

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    3. It's says this article is SATIRE @ the bottom... Gullible people

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    4. It's says this article is SATIRE @ the bottom... Gullible people

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    5. http://www.charlotteobserver.com/news/local/article84801562.html

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    6. There is a city park and it does have geese problem. Had this problem 14 years ago when I lived there

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  3. When will you all learn! These are dangerous animals!

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  4. When will you all learn! These are dangerous animals!

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    1. Read the end of the report This is SATIRE!!! Ally the Alligator is the gift that just keeps on giving, eventually we'll have a sports team "The Hagerstown Gators". :The Hagerstown Report is !!satire.!!

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  5. Do you people believe everything you hear this is so funny watch out maybe somebody's kid will fall in the lake at the city park and the alligator will eat them we all know this is not true you people are gullible

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  6. could at least have photoshoped the alligator in front of the actual Long Meadows McDs'...

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  7. This is the exact same picture that was put up yesterday 6/19/2016 for the alligator in Topsail NC.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you.. I live near the location..it's a male gator .. he s alive and was relocated

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  8. This is the exact same picture that was put up yesterday 6/19/2016 for the alligator in Topsail NC.

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  9. Is this safe to have at the park ?

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  10. Ally the Alligator is the gift that just keeps on giving, eventually we'll have a sports team "The Hagerstown Gators". The Hagerstown Report is satire. Maybe, just maybe read the whole article...........

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  11. This is satire duhh witch means funny not real... God I can't beleive humans are really arguing about this.. It even says it's a satirical report!!!!!

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  12. This is satire duhh witch means funny not real... God I can't beleive humans are really arguing about this.. It even says it's a satirical report!!!!!

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  13. Its in Buttpatt Arkansas and the alligator is a plastic one which boozers snitched off the wall of a bar

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  14. So wait. It states what town and state yet you argue that fact and swear up and down its in a completely unrelated town and state when the article is purely fiction to begin with ? Wow. You're special

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    1. Thankyou i thought i was the only person on here that knew the definition of satire. Cuz ya jnow its such a big hard word with a complicated meaning

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  15. The comments are more entertaining than the article. Lol.

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  16. Damn I didn't know soon many ppl didn't what md stood of as far as states go. What dose it mean again? Ho wait! MARYLAND!!! So where did North Carolina come into the picture? I'll wait!

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    1. Some one decided to take the picture from Sneads ferry north Carolina news

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    2. Some one decided to take the picture from Sneads ferry north Carolina news

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    3. Some one decided to take the picture from Sneads ferry north Carolina news

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  17. This is tacky, especially after the little boy was just killed last week at Disney by an alligator.

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    1. Whats tacky is bringing up a tragedy on a satire website meant to alleviate the doom and gloom caused by horrible stories such as that one. People often turn to humor as a way of copping with tragedy or hardships and if that is not for you, then kindly crawl back under the bridge and troll somewhere else.

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